It takes a village... but should it?

Every parent knows that parenting has its challenges and it is all about resources... from the others that we get our advice/recommendations from to the people that help us in caring/transporting our kids around, it is the supporting players that help make us successful.

But where are the lines drawn? When do the support start to over shadow our lead role? I know every parent goes through these different scenarios... the list of "banned" unhealthy snack items that comes from the school, the lengthy requirements from schools/daycares, or the standard that every decision be backed up by a professional (as if being a FT parent was not enough experience!)

Let me be clear, I understand why requirements exist: to keep kids safe and reduce liability for the caretakers (yes, the former is a priority, but the latter still exists). I also know why these things came into existence: more information became available regarding safer practices or their was a parent with bad behavior that caused the need for a policy. But I question again, when did these practices over shadow what we are trying to accomplish as parents to the point that our guidelines no long matter?

This all comes to light for me because my daughter got hit with the annual stomach bug that was going around. My facility does a really good job of managing the spread by keeping things cleaned and sanitized, but the spread of germs can only be contained so much. However, after a weekend of cleaning sheets and vomit off of every area in my house, we had made it to the end but her stomach was still sensitive. Because of this, we were keeping her on a bland diet to help keep her filled with nutrients and properly hydrated. This included swapping out the milk that she normally received a couple times a day with a dose of Pedialyte and water when she was thirsty. I had forgotten to mention this on Monday and when she got home from daycare her stomach was irritated again.

Realizing this, I sent a courtesy message to the daycare provider just asking that they swap out water for the week to let her stomach settle. Growing up, this was common practice in our house: chicken soup, dry toast and plenty of fluids...SIDENOTE: I know this isn't in medical journals, though I think there have been studies showing why this combination is effective ( I digress)... Anyways, not thinking this was an issue, I was not expecting the response to "get a doctor's note." Taken aback, the conversation turned to a back and forth regarding the difference between state mandated requirements and those that were implemented by the facility... needlesstosay, the conversation got us no where and she became more and more defensive as my questioning persisted to the point that she felt that I did not think their care was adequate (which is not the case, I only want to understand where these things come from so that I can... well, understand). When, in my reality, it is my job to question why my child is being cared for in a way that differs from my agenda and either adapt or move on.

SIDENOTE: I could post the whole conversation to show how crazy the exchange was, but I won't out of respect.

To some extent these situations are something that we have to expect when we outsource their care, but this seemed downright uncalled for because it should not act as a roadblock and close off the line of communication. The fact is that we still want the same thing: for my child to be cared for in the best way possible, but that may mean different things to each person involved. However, even with that being said, the parent has to have the upper hand at some point and our guidance valued more than just paying the bill on time... Aside from guidelines, I find that I am often not consulted regarding many other things about my child's care... whether her appearance (found that they had painted her nails when she was 6 months old) or the choice to give her candy (this one really bothers me because I personally feel candy under the age of 2-3 is not necessary and she 18 months).

My experience is obviously not the norm and I have great respect for those in the profession, but I feel like parents are being cut out more and more even though the means of communication have increased... but why? Is it because they truly know better or are we making ourselves more dispensable? It is a question I cannot answer and a place I don't want to be in, but, for now, I am backing up my decisions with notes from the doctor and moving on to a direction that better suits my parenting style.